UGLY SWEATER PARTY

New tradition....

Ugly sweater party. Enough said right?

Well me and some friends got together for our first ugly sweater party (hopefully not the last). It was really fun and the sweaters were hideous.

Here is some pictures of the night.

The group.

The singles

The winners!!

Brayden and I both won ugliest sweaters. Brayden's was a woman's sweater if you can't tell. (YUCK). My just looks like trash. Anyways, we also had a white elephant gift exchange. I got an enema. The gifts range from pregnancy tests to used candles to ninja launchers. All in all, very fun night!

Back from Down Under

I'm back!!

Let me tell you Australia was amazing! We started out in Sydney, then went up to Katoomba where the blue mountains are. After that we took a plane and flew up to Cairns got the rental car and headed north to Cape Tribulation (love this place). After Cape Trib we went and spent the last few days in Cairns.

So I'm making a book about my trip, instead of going and printing all the pictures, and it's got all the good stories so I don't forget them. So I really don't want to type everything twice, so you will get the very short and sweet version. If you want to know more you can wait until I'm done with my book or just approach me in person and ask.

Sydney- I think one word will do it justice "City", but I'll explain. I'm am not a huge city person. We arrived there and within the first 2 hours I think I saw everything worth seeing there. Yup. But we had to spend the entire day there. So guess what we walked around a lot, and almost died a good few hundred times from the traffic. Never ever drive in Sydney. If any of you think that I am bad at tail gating or cutting people off, Sydney drivers make me look like an angel. We left Sydney after one day.

Katoomba- I adored this place. Home of the Blue Mountains. But the weather was a rather large shock. SNOW! It's supposed to be spring over there. The temperature was below 0 degrees Celsius at night. Anyway I had a blast hiking through the blue mountains. They have this stair case called The Giant Stairway. It's 861 steps, extremely steep. We thought we'd be cool and climb up them. Rough stuff yet exhilarating.

Cape Tribulation- Beautiful place, it's like walking into Jurassic park. Seriously I thought a dinosaur was going to jump out any moment. No dinosaurs, but I did have to worry about Cassowaries. They are these birds like Emu's with blue heads. Any way they can kill you with one kick of there wickedly sharp feet! Let's just say I was a little scared of them. We found out though that they were extremely endangered and there is only about 1200 in all of Australia, only about 65 live in Cape Trib. All the locals were like "No worries, you'll never see one in the wild." My fear subsided a bit after they said that. Any out for a walk one day and I was complaining rather loudly about some nasty, boogie textured fruit that was making me angry because I couldn't eat it right because I would just mash the nasty thing. This lady comes around the corner signal for us to shut up. I was like please what is there a possum. Well guess what my nemesis was right around the corner. Never see one in the wild..... I'm thankful for that strange woman. She saved my life. I would have died that day, and the last thing I would have eaten was a nasty star apple that tasted like a booger. Anyway Cape Trib was exhilarating we went ocean kayaking through some good 4 to 5 foot waves and then a huge 7 foot one flipped me. Then we went snorkeling, I tried to climb a coconut tree (not easy). Any way I loved this place. (Tiny little town, not the city, which is probably why I loved it so much.

Cairns- This is a big city. Lame. But they did have some amazing stuff. Amber and I went to a night zoo. I got to pet me some kangaroos and koalas and feed them!!! AMAZING! And they fed us some delicious food. While there we also went to a croc farm. Pretty neat, they raise croc like we raise cows. haha For food and leather. Any way they also had a zoo attached to it to. Loads of crocodiles, crazy Steve Irwin like men running around with the crocodiles.

Plane ride was horrible it took us 29 hours to get home. I didn't feel so hot on the plane. Something I ate didn't agree with my stomach. Must have ate way to much at the night zoo. Hey it was all you can eat.

Ok so this was not nearly as short as I thought it was going to be, but there are loads more stories, but I'm done here.....

P.S. I apologize to all who read this (mostly Amber, who always points these out), I did not proof read this so I'm assuming there will be multiple typos, or incorrect grammar.

What Race Am I?

Well apparently this question has been up for debate among my patients. Here's how it started. Of course same old routine, I get a new patient. I go to there house. Well the first one that didn't believe I was caucasian asked if I was native american. I told him no I was not. He said he didn't believe me. Never could convince him. About a month later one of my patients asks if I'm greek. What?! I don't get what these people see. Well any way the one that really blew my mind happened today. I go over start doing the exercises with my patient, and she asks, Are you half black? I just laughed and said no. She says "Well dang I thought you could have been a black sista". haha (Must be the butt)

Hmmm... Australia is now it approximate 2 months away. I'm stoked but I don't quite think it's enough adventure sooo......

I'M GOING TO



Exactly a month later .

My brother in law is doing a tour down there. It's from November 12-21. It's going to be awesome! I need a travel buddy. Any one want to come? Seriously, if you want to let me know. I can give you more info.

An Old Man Gets Frisky

Yet again I'm going to tell you a story about my work. I've been going over for a few months to work with this lady who had a stroke. Well everytime I go over there the husband opens the door, lets me in then goes sits in his chair and watches the weather channel or goes in a different room. Let's just say this time was a little different. Well this couple lives in the basement of there home because neither one can walk up the stairs. So I just walk through the garage to get to the back of the house to get in. So I get to the house, start to walk to the back of the house and the husband (whom I will now just refer to as "old man") creeps up from behind the corner and scared the crap out of me!

Old man: Scared ya didn't I

Me: You sure did

Old man: Well, you here to give Agnes her exercises

Me: yes I am!

We walk inside. I can't see Agnes. (When she's not in that main room she's normally asleep in her room). At this time the old man is just staring at me.

Old man: Well your not the same girl are you?

Me: I'm the same girl who always comes over.

Old man: Well I'll keep you.

Old man proceeds to wrap his arm around my waist and pulls me in close to him. Well that was random!! I'm officially confused and lost at this point. I start to ask for Agnes again and start to try and walk away, but the man won't let go and follows me.

Me: Alright well are you going to go get Agnes? (He always goes and wakes her up for me)

Old Man: Well you can exercises with me!

Me: I'm going to go get Agnes now.

Old man: I can go get her for you.

At this point his hand now slides down and has landed on my butt. Now he looks up and smirks at me. Then turns to start heading towards the room where his wife is. As he leaves his hand slides across the rest of my butt. What is this and me attracting old people! Oh my nasty. Anyway Agnes comes in just smiling like she always does. He husband is right behind her staring at me with a little smirt on his face. Nasty old man. I was just in shock the entire time I didn't know what to do. The only thought that came into my head as he was doing it was, 'don't throw an elbow at him he's 90 years old and will probably die if you do'.

Let me just say it's officially weird when I go over there now because he's got that stinkin smirk on his face whenever he looks at me!

Random

So I went for a run today... Usually they are pretty uneventful. Well today was just odd. It started out with me getting chased down by a dog. Ok it was a little dog but they can still inflict pain! Well later on I turned into the park and look over and there is ths nasty little muskrat. I look up and there is on old man sitting on a bench and he is filming the muskrat. Who films muskrats?! I guess he is intrigued with muscrats, personally I don't get it. I continue running to discover a little girl following me on her bike. She keeps on following me. She finally stops in front of me and says "You wanna race?" Well why not. I told her I would. I won. haha Not much to brag about the girl was probably 5. She then called time out and made me stop. She asked why I was running. I told her because I liked to. She said I was weird. She then rode off. Well I guess I'm weird, but atleast I haven't resorted to filming muskrats!!

Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground!

Well I hope you don't mind, but yet again I'm telling you a story involving a patient. I hope you don't get sick of these because I sure don't! Old people are hilarious. Well most of them.... Anyways my day began by going to the dentist. I unfortunately had to get some cavities filled. (Exciting so far right). My dentist gave me 6 shots. I was fine with that, I didn't want to fill anything. Well I was hating those 6 shots after I was done. I got out of the dentist at 10:10. I scheduled to see my first patient at 10:30. Perfect. Except half my lip is excessively huge and I can't feel it. My chin up to the bottom of my eye was numb. I look liked I was having a stroke. Well I saw my first patient and he just laughed at me the entire time. My speech was slightlly slurred to due to the lack of control of my tongue and lips. Well, now here comes my favorite part of my day. I was at my second patients house and we were walking the laps around her house. All the sudden I hear an Oops! First thought, patient is falling. Gotta catch them. Then she starts laughing hysterically. I look down and her pants had fallen off. Oh man, I don't think I had ever laughed so hard. We made a real team. This old lady standing with her pants down to her ankles just in her lovely depends, and me looking like i'm having a stroke, because only half of my face thought this was funny, the other side in a constant droop and frown. I love my job, who else gets asked out by old men, old women aiming the snow from the snow blower to hit me, walking with an old person and there pants fall down, being told I look like elvis... I don't have to many dull days.

Old Women + snowblowers = BAD!

Well I'm not going to say this was my favorite day of my life. I wake up and head out to my car and I've got to brush off a foot of snow. It's April! What is this?! Anyways, I head of to my first patient and I have to park a ways up the road because it's a really narrow street, and no room for my car unless I want it to get hit. Anyways... I see my patient and start heading back to my car. On my way there is this old lady clearing her driveway with her snowblower. Well she has it aimed right in the direction I'm walking. So I as I switch directions to avoid the flying chunks of snow. I look at her and she has this menacing look in her eye. Well old people occasionally look like that so I continue on my way. All the sudden I'm getting smack by flying snow! The woman changed the aim of her snow to make it hit me!! I look back at her and she's still got that look on her face. What did I do? I've got no idea. Well to finish of the rest of my day, at another house my patients dog almost got a little frisky with my leg when I was sitting there. Oh boy! Anyways I continue to go see my patients and the random snow storms througout the day are making me rather angry. Well I made it to my last patient with no further incident. Until I walked out of there home. I guess I didn't notice a stair and I decided to take a nice dive to the sidewalk. Lovely. Well now I'm off to the Jazz game, I sure hope they win. I need something to make this day better. haha

Land of Oz!

Well friends, it is official I'm going to Australia!
The plane tickets were purchased as of yesterday!





Don't worry my plane will be a little more sturdy than this little guys. I'm just using him as an example to express my excitment for this trip. And that fact that this is how I feel about airplanes and their serious lack of leg room. I'm going with my sister Amber. The kind soul and her husband let me use their air miles so I only had to pay 200 for a plane ticket that should have cost somewhere around a good 1600.



Yup this is where we're flying into. SYDNEY! After that I'm going to see me some little creepers like these guys! Don't you just want to hug them!


Along with seeing some sweet animals, we're going to be doing some of this:



And snorkeling! Wahoo! That's just a few of the things we plan on doing! I just can't explain how stoked I am!

Billy Joel and Elton John

February 19th was the day! We got the tickets in June of last year, so me and 5 friends have been waiting quite some time to watch some old men sing. The concert was originally supposed to be November 20th. But guess what they both got sick. But they rescheduled! The concert was a blast! Here's a funny story though. So I've got an annoying laugh. End of story. No I'm kidding. Well every time I laughed two people who were sitting in front of us would look back and glare at me! Well I had laughed a lot. Apparently they couldn't take it anymore, they glared at me one last time and left!! Well at least when they left I didn't have to worry about kicking them because of the serious lack of leg room!

Here's something funny one of my friends came up with:

Tickets to the show: 70 bucks

Dinner at Crown Burger: 9 bucks
Filling up the tank of gas for the drive: 35 bucks

A night screaming my head off watching a gay man sing: Priceless

And priceless it was!

Here's some pics.

Oh my WRONG!

I officially had the most awkward situation during work on friday. Here's how it goes: I was just finishing up at one of my patients house, told her I would give her a call on Sunday to see when I would come see her on Monday. She's got a 57ish year old son, that lives at her home to take care of her if she needs it. Alright let me explain this guy. Well he's old for starters, also his teeth are decaying and just nasty brown and look like they're going to rot out of his mouth. He always smells like tobacco and carries a thing of chew with him all the time. He also wears these nasty little short shorts. I don't know exactly where he came from the rest of the family are really nice and clean. Ok so here's how the conversation goes after I told them I'd call.

Me: Alright I'll see you guys on Monday.

Nasty Man: Well I'll walk you outside I've got to check the mail anyway.

We start to walk outside. I'm a ways ahead of him.

Nasty Man: So what do you young people do for fun these day?

Me: I don't know, anything.

Nasty Man: Do you guys ever go out to eat?

Me: Ya, foods good.

Nasty Man: Well good, because I'd like to take you out to eat.

By now I'm already at my car and he's caught up to me, cornering me into my car.

Me: Umm... No

Nasty Man: I know there is a big age difference but I'd really like to ask you out.

Me: No it's alright I'm fine.

Nasty Man: I know you're fine, that's why I'm asking you out.

Me: NO!

Nasty Man: Well if you change your mind you know where I'm at.

At this point I throw my car into reverse and speed out of there. Once I was done screaming in my car. I gave my good ol' boss a call, and let him know what happened. No way I'm going back over there! It made me mad, I really like to go see his mom, and he goes and ruins it the sicko!
What is he thinking! And he was thinking it was the age difference that was holding me back. hahaha the man needs to learn a thing or two. Holy Wrong!

I look like who??

Alright so I started seeing this patient for the first time this week. When I first went over there, she say "Do I know you?" Nope, pretty sure I've never met this woman before in my life. Every time I go over there she like, I have to know you, or you look a lot like someone I know. Well today I go over to see her and in the middle of the exercises she yells out "I figured it out! I don't know you, You look like a young Elvis!" I laughed my head off. She's convinced I look like him. Here take a look. Decide for yourselves my friends.




Ya I don't think so...

Oh and p.s I got a library card. haha